DIVINE BALANCE—TRUTH IN LOVE

When Biblical Discernment Goes Wrong ~

If I could point to one lesson my mom tried to drive home to me as she watched my Christian walk, it would be that of ‘balance’. Man, I hated when that word started to come out of her mouth directed toward me. But as we often come to learn later in life—Momma knew my heart better than I know it myself. I write this post from the standpoint of one who sees clearly how she once was (and will always have a propensity to be). In other words, I am preaching to the choir here!

Those who have the gift of discernment often find themselves standing alone as they fight for the truth. That is a fact. Those who have the gift of discernment can also find themselves standing alone because they fight for the truth without love. Those who fight error can become so out of balance that they begin focusing on the pursuit of error rather than focusing on love for the truth. Like drug-sniffing dogs, they can get to a place where they believe their sole purpose in life is to sniff out error in every nook and cranny of the church.

I have a lot of Facebook friends who obviously believe they have the gift of discernment. And that may be the case. Recently, I started noticing a word being used often by these same friends. And, quite frankly, it started annoying me. Every truth bomb (my affectionate term for any hard truth) is prefaced with the word, “Sadly”. Yes, the fact that Satan deceives and blinds people to the truth is sad! But adding this word to the beginning of a hard truth does not mean it is being spoken in love. Why do we feel the need to state the obvious?

Social media can be an awful thing. It can also reveal a man’s heart faster than it takes to build a true friendship in the real world. Is that because it is easier to blurt out our thoughts on social media without really thinking them through? I don’t know. In life we guard our hearts as we get to know someone. My point is this: If you “listen” closely, you can see the spirit in which truth is given on social media. You can hear unspoken (sometimes spoken) “attitudes”. “See? If you would have just listened to me…” “Aha! I was right!” “I keep telling people…” “If people would just start listening to me…” These are more the attitudes of a narcissistically driven pharisee than a loving follower and servant of Jesus Christ.

We can see the subtle focus on self’s glory rather than on God’s glory in these types of thoughts. Let me be clear, while I do not know the thoughts of any man, I know that I have had these same attitudes in my own heart and I am able to see them for what they are—sin. These heart attitudes rob God of the glory that alone belongs to Him. We must ask ourselves every time we speak the truth: Where is my focus? Is my focus on being right and winning this argument or on love for God’s glory as I seek to love my neighbor as myself? As a parent, how would I want another to correct my child? Is it immaturity to use the gift of discernment as a weapon? Maybe. Like giving a gun to a toddler, discernment gone wrong can hurt the baby and any around him. But we must also realize that Satan can imitate and counterfeit spiritual gifts. Instead of dividing truth from error, many are just being divisive. And it looks no different to the world than the attack mode it goes into over every little offense. Many who are looking down their noses at the immaturity of others who “can’t seem to get it” are wielding the weapons they carry as toddlers themselves!

Paul’s focus in Ephesians 4 is unity of Christ’s body. Ephesians 4:1-3 says: Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Several things stand out to me here. First, Paul is in a very humbling circumstance. He is a prisoner of the Lord always, but he just happens to be writing this letter from prison. Very powerful word association. He is begging the Ephesians to walk in a manner worthy of their calling. How? With all humility and gentleness, with patience. We would do well to stop and ponder each of those virtues which can only be manifested in us by His Spirit. With each word spoken I should ask: As a prisoner of the Lord, myself, am I walking in humility, gentleness, and patience as I open my mouth? What am I to do—only as I walk in these virtues? Show tolerance. Stop! Show tolerance for what? Tolerance for false doctrine? Never! Tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Oh, how we need to abide in these words, especially today. We walk a fine but very definite dividing line of balance.

Ephesians 4:11-16—And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.

One of the things I believe is a factor in some cases of discernment going wrong is when some who believe they have the corner on the truth refuse to submit themselves to the authority of the local church in order that they might be held accountable. It might be that the local church does not know what to do with this one (just trying to get rid of the trouble he or she causes). Perhaps the church in question has the same tendencies to give the truth without love. I do know that in my own walk, pre-prison and after, the Lord graciously gave me a few godly pastors who modeled this balance for me perfectly. I was drawn to Christ through them. They did not hesitate to firmly speak the truth, but I knew they loved me with a godly love that was irresistible. These men were what the Apostle Paul was speaking about in the above passage. They were the gifts of men Christ gave to the church, their office of pastor/teacher and the authority that goes with it. It is easy to put oneself in submission to the authority of their office. Their purpose is to equip the saints for the work of service and to build up the body of Christ. The end result will be that we will all one day attain to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. That maturity will keep the body from deception.

Here, we can see, how the gift of discernment is to be exercised. The purpose is that the immature will grow up. How is that possible? By speaking the truth in love. Speaking the truth in love will bring growth. According to the proper working of each individual part. The body does not grow apart from its other members. We grow together as His body. When our goal is edification for the purpose of growth, we are part of the same body that is being edified and growing. As the truth sanctifies each member, the body grows, and the Head is glorified. People! We are not the gift! We have been given gifts to be used for His glory. True unity can only happen when the truth is spoken in love.

So often, the one with the gift of discernment or who believes he or she has the gift of discernment, finds himself standing alone, disjointed, and dismayed. This is because we are shooting our guns and people run for cover from us. To make matters worse, we rationalize standing alone by telling ourselves: “See? Jesus said I would be persecuted. This is persecution!”  At some point we need to realize there is nobody left to shoot and figure out why we have no unity with anybody in the church! There is no “mature” body with me as the only member! Many are shooting their guns into the air with no one around. There must be people to love in order to fulfill and walk worthy of our calling. To strive for unity, we must have someone to build up!

In the rest of Chapter 4, Paul continues to elaborate on what it means to walk worthy and to speak the truth in love. In verse 29 he says: Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. As I was looking at this verse and this whole topic, something I had never thought about occurred to me. The hard words we must sometimes speak in love are always for the benefit of the hearer. Keeping this unity in mind, Paul says we are to lay aside falsehood, speaking the truth each one of us to our neighbor, for we are members of one another. If I am speaking the truth without love, I am speaking from a dishonest heart before God. Dishonesty is unloving and abusive. This is not: Use soft words such as “sadly” to soften hard truths. That is just hypocrisy if spoken not from a heart of love. This is: Because I love you, I must tell you the truth. Ultimately, hard truths will be received from hearts that are known to be loving.

In Acts 20 we see Paul in Ephesus meeting with the elders of the church there. He reminds them of how he served them with humility and tears in severe trials and that he did not shrink from declaring to them anything that was profitable declaring the whole purpose of God. He admonished them to be on guard for themselves as leaders and for the flock. They were to be good shepherds of the church of God which He purchased with His own blood. He warned of the savage wolves that would come with the purpose of drawing away the disciples after them. Then, in verse 31: Therefore, be on the alert, remembering that night and day for a period of three years I did not cease to admonish each one with tears. Do you think these men were listening to Paul? They could hear the heartbeat of his heart for them through his words.

It is a given that Christians are to be people who are characterized by love, but it is not always the case. Here is one last example from one of the pastors who taught me to love. The Apostle John was as dogmatic as they come. He proclaimed absolute truth boldly. But he, too, needed to learn to love. And he did learn this lesson. The theme of love was used more by him than any other writer in Scripture. And he became known as the Apostle Jesus loved.

Decades later after Paul spoke to the elders in Ephesus, John writes of the fulfillment of Paul’s prophecy. False teachers had, indeed, come to Ephesus. And what did they attack? The Ephesians’ first love. From where does John write? From his banishment to the Isle of Patmos. I believe those who must learn to speak the truth in love will be greatly humbled. Why did John need to be humbled? Of course, only God knows the purpose for all He does. But John had been at the Transfiguration of Jesus Christ. That would have been a powerful opportunity giving rise to the temptation for John to think more highly of himself than he ought to think. This eventually led to the discussions of who was to be the greatest in the Kingdom. Jesus continued to tell them that the first shall be last and that a servant must be humble. Listen, we who profess to follow Christ will be humble or we will be humbled. A servant cannot have his own personal ambition or his own agenda.

Everything with John is absolute. His contrasts are always starkly radical. Light and darkness. Life and death, etc. There are always clear dividing lines. Jesus could use this in a man, but not without this dogmatic quality being tempered with love. Every effective ministry must have the divine balance of truth and love—sound doctrine and true love that is the fruit of His Spirit. True love never fails in producing a walk that is worthy of the calling with which we have been called.